If You Love Me Read online

  Catia’s face lit up.

  Victory!

  “Do you mean it?”

  “It would be for a day only. I can take you there. I have business. I’ll leave you off with your mother. Pick you up later on.”

  “Oh, Giovanni, you are so wonderful. But what will Angelo say?”

  “You leave that to me. I will settle it all. Your job is not to worry your pretty little head.”

  “I will be forever in your debt,” she exclaimed.

  “Yes,” he grabbed her ass. “You will. And I better get the best ass fucks from you until you are old and gray.”

  “Yes, Giovanni, I promise.”

  He chuckled. “You’re adorable, you know that?”

  The night before the day she was to travel, she could not sleep a minute. She was too excited. Naturally she would see her mother first, but she would also take the time to find Ulexi.

  There was much to the plan she hadn’t worked out. Would a day be enough to find him? What if he were living somewhere else? She couldn’t think of such things, though. She must focus on the positive. That she would be closer than she had been since the day they were separated.

  The weather was lovely, clear and warm, a perfect early spring day. She wore a floral print dress, pretty but elegant. She had a whole new wardrobe now and fabulous shoes and her own hair dresser.

  Wouldn’t Julyana be left speechless!

  Giovanni was proud as a peacock to be taking her. She doted on him, thanking him a million times. As an act of generosity, he did not lay a hand on her for the trip there, though he made it clear he would make full use of her on the way home.

  “I look forward to it,” she whispered hotly against his neck. “Master.”

  “Talk like that,” he warned, “will get us both killed.”

  “Angelo’s not tough as all that, is he?”

  “You’re a naïve little woman,” he informed her. “You think his business is selling Swiss chocolates?”

  “I don’t know what he does and I don’t care.”

  Honestly, she hadn’t thought of the dangers. What if Angelo caught her, before or after she found Ulexi?

  What if Ulexi were dead, killed by Ivan?

  That was a terrible thought to be pushed far from her mind. What was wrong with her? She was so morose, a feeling of foreboding filling her as she got closer and closer to home.

  “You have six hours,” said Giovanni. “I’ll meet you right here,” he dropped her off across the street from the old apartment building.

  “How do you know I won’t run?” she teased.

  “Pristanya is small enough,” he said. “You won’t get far.”

  He was right. Everyone knew everyone in this city. She counted on that when it came to finding Ulexi.

  The feeling of dread continued to mount as the elevator rose. The ding jolted her as her floor was announced. She walked down the silent, gray corridors which she had once known as a child, skipping, laughing. And later as a young teenager, pouting.

  Her mother’s name was not on the apartment door.

  Instead, the small plaque read A. and G. Mintzer.

  She rang the bell.

  A woman answered, in her thirties. “Can I help you?”

  “Julyana,” Catia heard herself say. “Does she live here?”

  “We have no Julyanas. We are brother and sister, Mintzer.”

  “Julyana,” she repeated. “She has always lived here. I am her daughter.”

  Recognition lit in the woman’s eyes. “You are the daughter? Yes, we heard of you. But your mother died. Didn’t anyone tell you?”

  Catia retreated. “You are mistaken.”

  “No, it is certain. I was there when the apartment was re-leased. We were told her daughter was missing, dead, too. We were told we could dispose of the property in the place as soon as we took up residence. Most of it, we needed to throw out, I’m terribly sorry. But we saved one small box. Grigor,” she called out. “Bring the box.”

  A tall, dour man presented her with a small carton. She saw a drawing of hers from school and her mother’s favorite sweater and a photo from when they both went together one day to the old State Music House to see a show.

  Catia took another step in retreat. “This can’t be; you are lying.”

  “It’s true, the box, it has the article, from the paper. About the funeral.”

  Catia dropped her small purse. She had a hundred dollars in it which she had saved up, taking small bills from Angelo’s pockets while he was asleep. The money was to help her find Ulexi.

  “The box,” called out the brother and sister Mintzer. “Don’t you want it?”

  She did not stop until she reached the elevator. It was too many floors away so she took the stairs, taking them two at a time all the way down.

  Only when she reached the bottom did things crystallize in her mind. I will find Ulexi now, today, or I will not allow myself to live to see tomorrow.

  ***

  Catia’s first stop was Old Man Rushay’s Grocery. He remembered her and offered condolences, for her mother. “A good woman, she had it hard, people, they talked bad of her, but I tell you, her heart, it was gold. Too good for this world. A heart attack, that is how she went, but I tell you, she died of a broken heart. She was a good woman,” he repeated. “You are a lucky girl to have been born to her.”

  “Thank you, I know,” she said quickly. “But tell me, have you seen another, for whom I am looking? I know you know everyone.”

  “There are few I don’t know,” he chuckled, twirling his white mustache. “Tell me the name.”

  She spoke the name of Ulexi.

  Mr. Rushay’s face changed. “What are you playing at, girl?”

  “Nothing, Sir. I am looking for him that is all.”

  “Who put you up to this?” he demanded. “I make my payments.”

  “Sir, I don’t understand.”

  “Get out,” he threatened. “And never come back. I have my pride. You think I live in fear forever? You tell him, come back, and kill me if he like.”

  Catia’s pulse was racing. So Ulexi was alive. In fact, he was very much alive. Had he done well working for Ivan?

  She asked another man, this time a pushcart peddler, whom she had known all her life. His face darkened. He spit on her. “Never come near me again.” He lifted the top of his wagon. “I have a lead pipe. And I will fight.”

  Two for two, both men seemingly terrified.

  Catia was getting nowhere. She decided to find some young street punks, like the kind Ulexi once ruled over.

  “You want to find Ulexi?” said a black leather jacketed hood with blue hair. He laughed, puffing on a cigarette, laced with drugs. “No one finds Ulexi. If he wants, he finds you.”

  “Thanks for nothing,” she muttered under her breath.

  “Hey, blondie,” he called out. “A word to the wise. Stop asking so many questions, if you care about seeing tomorrow.”

  “That’s just it, little brother. I don’t care if I do,” she smiled.

  She continued asking, anyone who would listen. She was terrified to stop looking, to stop asking, because then she would have to face the fact that her mother was gone. And she had never even had a chance to say goodbye.

  Maybe it was a dream. She would wake up at some point, in the Hole, in Angelo’s hotel room or the apartment he got her, or maybe back in her own room, her mother in the kitchen, making sweet rolls and hot cocoa for Sunday breakfast, the table all joyously set for two.

  Midway through the afternoon she began to feel the emptiness in her belly, the low blood sugar. She collapsed on a bench, just in front of the street, under a sign that read “Public Bus Stop.”

  She was so tired, she barely noticed the Checka limousine, darkened windows, a leftover from Soviet days, pulling slowly towards her, driving right against the curb.

  The men inside moved fast. As the rear door opened on her side, they came out, three of them, one of them grabbing each arm a
nd a third watching warily for ambush, machine gun in hand. Before Catia could draw another breath she was inside, the door slammed behind her.

  “Who are you?” she demanded. “What do you want?”

  The cloth was wet over her face. The scent was strong and burned the insides of her nasal passages. Some kind of chloroform.

  Knockout gas.

  She thought of the gang members words. “You don’t find Ulexi, if he wants, he finds you...”

  ***

  Catia was sitting in a chair when she came to. It was made of crushed red velvet, with a high back. The room was painted white, decorated in gold. A man was standing at a bar, his back to her.

  “Ulexi!” She recognized him.

  Catia tried to stand, but her hands wouldn’t move.

  They were secured to the arms with a heavy tape. “Ulexi?” Her voice was full of question this time.

  “Hello, Catia.” He was dressed in a fine silk suit, black pin stripe. His hair was tied back in a long pony tail. His appearance oozed wealth and power, from his alligator shoes to the gold chains around his neck.

  She strained at her bonds once more. She wanted more than anything in the world to throw herself into his arms, to feel his embrace. “Why am I bound?” she asked softly. “Is this Ivan’s doing?”

  Ulexi held a glass in his hand, with ice and a clear liquid. He laughed lightly, swallowing the contents. “There is no more Ivan.”

  No more Ivan? Catia tried to comprehend. “But...what happened?”

  “There can only be one boss,” he shrugged. “And now it is me. From the time you left, I worked night and day for Ivan, I killed and stole for him, and I took the jobs no one wanted. I shadowed him, I breathed his air. I even began to anticipate. When the Grisov Brothers became a problem, I was on it before he said a word. I delivered both their heads to Ivan’s doorstep.

  “Naturally, my plan was to succeed Ivan. To get close enough to him, to win his confidence, to secure the loyalty of all those who worked for him. It didn’t take long, Catia. Would you believe, not even three months? The Russian mob has a much higher turnover rate than the Italian.

  “We were at dinner one night. He found us some whores. High class women, forced to sell their bodies to make ends meet. Ivan loved that kind best. He liked humiliating them. All through the meal, he told them what he was going to do to them, how he would make them lick his hairy ass and how he would piss all over their fancy hair dos.”

  “One by one, he made them get down on the floor during the meal and suck on his cock. He didn’t let them eat with a knife and fork, either. He had their food put in bowls and made them eat like dogs, heads down at the table.

  “Ivan always was a cruel bastard. Made it all the easier for me to get the women in on my plan. Back in the room later, all of us naked, Ivan whipping one of them on her hands and knees, the other sucking him off.

  “I gave her the signal when it was time and she bit down hard. Ivan opened his mouth to scream, but I was waiting behind him, with the wire. A garrot, wrapped around his throat. He was a monster. I had to hop up onto his back. He ran around the room, trying to knock me off of him. His cock was bleeding, he was in agony.

  “I had the women get the knife from my pocket. The one who was being whipped, a slender short haired blonde, plunged the blade into his heart. Still, it took another minute for him to fall. He landed with a thud.

  “I went to retrieve Ivan’s gun from the table. ‘Good job, ladies,’ I said and I shot them both in the head. When Ivan’s men came in I told them the girls killed Ivan while I was in the bathroom. They didn’t believe me, of course, but I had set things up. I was the new boss. And anyone who objected would end up like Ivan.”

  Catia’s stomach turned. She wanted to celebrate with him for his victory, for winning his revenge against Ivan, but his method had been so bloody. And to kill the innocent prostitutes...

  His story left one question unanswered. “Ulexi, if you are the boss now, why have you tied me like this?”

  “Why shouldn’t I, Catia? You’ve been asking questions about me. How do I know who sent you?”

  “No one sent me. I am here on my own,” she insisted. “Ulexi, I love you.”

  “This is not a world for love, Catia.” He threw the empty glass against the far wall shattering it. “It is kill or be killed, and take what pleasure we can.”

  “But...we had something, don’t you remember? Our game, the dares you made me do. I did everything you ever wanted. I even risked Ivan’s wrath. And when they took me away, everything I suffered was for you. I was a sex slave for you.”

  “What exactly did happen, Catia?”

  She did her best to explain it all, what had gone on since they parted ways, from the men who took her in the van, to Sergei and Nadia and the Hole, to all the cocks that came to her in the room where they chained her spread eagle. Then she told him about the strange meeting with Giovanni and Angelo, and all that happened after that, every single thing leading up to her being here, in the very same room as Ulexi.

  “And now,” he presumed to finish the story. “You expect some happy ending? A mutual profession of love? Marriage, perhaps?”

  “I just want to be with you.”

  “I have no use for females, except as receptacles. I make money off them; I dip my wick myself as I need.”

  “You won’t need other women, you will have me.”

  “And what are you, Catia? How many men have been in that cunt since me?”

  He stood in front of her, looming. “I—I don’t know.”

  “Take your best guess, count them up.”

  She shrank back in her chair. “It’s...it’s hard.”

  Ulexi struck her across the cheek. “Try.”

  She attempted to run the numbers through her head, tears trickling. “S—so many.”

  “Divide it up,” he said. “Blow jobs, straight fucks. Anal.”

  “In...in my mouth? Maybe...a...a thousand,” she stammered.

  “You swallowed?”

  “M—mostly.”

  “A thousand loads of come, then?”

  “Y—yes.”

  “And in the ass.”

  “A...a few hundred.”

  “You were ass fucked by a few hundred?” he made her repeat.

  “Yes.”

  “And the pussy?”

  “T—two thousand.”

  “That many? What is that? Four times an hour, eighteen hours a day, seven days a week...why, yes, that does add up. Did you enjoy it, Catia?”

  “I had no choice,” she protested.

  “You didn’t moan, you didn’t come, not once?”

  “S—sometimes.”

  “So you had your thrills. You fucked half an army and now you want me back? You expect me to go into that hole of yours? You insult me, Catia.”

  “I’m sorry.” She was confused. “I didn’t mean to insult you.”

  “Well you have. If I didn’t know you, if we weren’t at one time associated, I would not let you live after saying such a thing. As it is, I am feeling merciful today. After my men torture you for any relevant information, I am going to let you go.”

  “But Ulexi, I want to be with you.”

  “That isn’t possible. Women are commodities to me, I told you. They serve the bottom line. And I am not kind, Catia, when if comes to getting what I require from them. My business is very production oriented. My girls walk the streets, they find their own customers, or they pay the price. Heat or cold, rain or shine, they give me my cash. Beautiful as they are, they wear the rags of sluts. I treat them like animals. They beg for scraps. They sleep in cages. If I let them come inside at all. But you aren’t interested in my business. You have your own. Goodbye, my dear.”

  “Ulexi,” she screamed his name, “don’t leave me!”

  She cried his name until she was hoarse. She hung her head in abject misery. She had never felt worse in her life. It was so bad that she hardly reacted when Ulexi’s men came in.
A pair of heavy jowled goons, shirt sleeves rolled up. One of them had a medical bag. The other had a small generator, with lead wires attached.

  They taped her ankles to the chair. Then they cut her clothes off, strip by strip until she was completely naked.

  “I have to pee,” she said. “Please.”

  “Go ahead,” grinned the one in the red shirt. “No one’s stopping you.”

  The one in the blue shirt, with tiny eyes and curly brown hair, hooked up the wires. Alligator clips, one to each of her labia. “There’s a small current,” he told her. “You’re all right as long as you stay dry.”

  The one in the red shirt played with her breasts a while, casually inspecting and caressing. Then he put clamps on her nipples, also attached to wires.

  The one in the blue, his head clean shaven, took a dildo from the medical bag.

  “Lick,” he ordered.

  She recoiled.

  He laughed. “I guess we forgot to clean it.”

  It tasted of a woman, dried come and sweat. He made her suck it for a long time.

  “Feel like telling us who sent you?” inquired the one in red.

  “I—I came on my own.”

  The one in blue took a cup of water. “Drink,” he ordered.

  She guzzled, desperate not to let a drop spill.

  “Careful,” he teased. “Of the electricity.”

  She drank it all. Predictably, though, she had to pee.

  “Please,” she squirmed.

  “Only ladies use the toilet. Come sluts piss on themselves,” said the one in red.

  She had to drink more water. Halfway through, she emptied her bladder. A warm, humiliating release, all over the cushion.

  She felt the jolt from the wires.

  She cried out, unable to stop urinating, unable to stop the pain.

  The man in blue stuffed another dildo deep in her mouth and held it there. “Forgot to clean this one, too.”

  It had been inside of someone’s ass. She gagged.

  At last he took it out and they turned off the electricity.

  “Are you ready to talk or do we need to get tough?”

  “I...I want Ulexi.”

  The man in the red slapped each of her breasts, hard.

  They had something for between her legs. It was a wooden cock, but it expanded in the middle.